Newly diagnosed & The 7 Stages of Grief
Looking back at when we began down this gluten free path, I keep seeing similarities between this path and the path of grieving. When we lose something or someone so dear to us, we naturally grieve. This is the same when going through the diagnosis of Celiac Disease. Years ago I had a cancer scare, and went through the steps of grieving at that time. When my son and I started down this path, again I went through the steps. If someone would have told me then, that this was a natural part of the Celiac process, it would have made it a little easier. So, with that said, I am posting the steps in hopes that it may help someone.
Here is the grief model called "The 7 Stages of Grief":
1. SHOCK & DENIAL-
You will probably react to learning of the loss with numbed disbelief. You may deny the reality of the loss at some level, in order to avoid the pain. Shock provides emotional protection from being overwhelmed all at once. This may last for weeks.
2. PAIN & GUILT-
As the shock wears off, it is replaced with the suffering of unbelievable pain. Although excruciating and almost unbearable, it is important that you experience the pain fully, and not hide it, avoid it or escape from it.
You may have guilty feelings or remorse over things you did or didn't do. Life feels chaotic and scary during this phase.
3. ANGER & BARGAINING-
Frustration gives way to anger, and you may lash out and lay unwarranted blame for the loss on someone else. Please try to control this, as permanent damage to your relationships may result. This is a time for the release of bottled up emotion.
You may rail against fate, questioning "Why me?" You may also try to bargain in vain with the powers that be for a way out of your despair.
4. "DEPRESSION", REFLECTION, LONELINESS-
Just when your friends may think you should be getting on with your life, a long period of sad reflection will likely overtake you. This is a normal stage of grief, so do not be "talked out of it" by well-meaning outsiders. Encouragement from others is not helpful to you during this stage of grieving.
During this time, you finally realize the true magnitude of your loss, and it depresses you. You may isolate yourself on purpose, reflect on things you did, and focus on memories of the past. You may sense feelings of emptiness or despair.
5. THE UPWARD TURN-
As you start to adjust to life without gluten, your life becomes a little calmer and more organized. Your physical symptoms lessen, and your "depression" begins to lift slightly.
6. RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH-
As you become more functional, your mind starts working again, and you will find yourself seeking realistic solutions to problems posed by life without gluten. You will start to work on practical and financial problems and reconstructing yourself.
7. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE-
During this, the last of the seven stages in this grief model, you learn to accept and deal with the reality of your situation. Acceptance does not necessarily mean instant happiness. Given the pain and turmoil you have experienced, you can never return to the carefree, untroubled YOU that existed before this tragedy. But you will find a way forward.
You will start to look forward and actually plan things for the future. You will once again anticipate some good times to come, and yes, even find joy again in the experience of living.
Posted in: celiac disease, coelic, gluten free, glutenfree, grief, wheat free on Friday, October 3, 2008 at at 11:05 AM
